Tuesday, July 24, 2012
At the outset I would like to state humbly that I am not a blogaholic, I rather prefer scribbling in my notebooks at times, but The I Stood Up Blogathon made me resort to this communication channel to pour my heart out.
It created a kind of fear-psychosis in my mind from childhood and I struggled to prepare myself for resisting this heart-wrecking situation. I thought much about the celebrated concept of loneliness of unmarried women who feel helpless if they are unable to find a partner. But it does not hold water. I used to ponder why it is necessary only for girls to get married and leave their parents, knocking off all ties. I started despising cooking as it is a way to please the prospective groom with culinary skills. I protested against correcting my dental flaw as the doctor insisted me with the assertion that it would not help me in hooking a good husband.
My uncle used to invite me on some occasions (as a privileged father of a male child) to help us out in some ‘crucial circumstances’ where a brother is unavoidably needed to fulfill ritualistic demands. I defied these traditions and tied Rakhi on my sister’s wrist, fought for wearing jeans, played cricket and carom for a long time in a male dominated zone, went for inter-school sports and yoga competitions. I reviewed all marital rites from my uncle who is a 'purohit' and arranges marriage ceremony, but can only find to my amazement that it is full of nonsense like Kanyadan ( a property to be handed over to another family), lajahoma (offering puffed rice into the fire to confirm that the parental tie is broken) under the hegemony of ‘self-proclaimed upper caste’ Brahmins. Interestingly, on the other hand, no boy is ever asked to show some concern for his 'new family' (and responsibility towards the bride's parents) through these rituals as it is his ‘success story’ where he enters like a prince and snatches his 'rightful share' from the bride's parents who are her temporary guardian until she finds her permanent home (yet some men grumble that marriage terminates their freedom!).
I am radical, right? Let it be. If the society has no shame in systematically subjugating its women, why should I be shy?